Be In a Hurry

As we loaded our gear on the dive boat we saw a little old woman standing on the pier. I remember she wore a red one piece swimming suit that drooped and sagged so much I feared it would fall off her old wrinkled skin. She greeted each diver with a kind word and a gleam in her eyes and then stepped aboard with a ready to go smile as the captain handed her snorkel gear to her.

We busily stowed and set up our gear, checked our tanks and then settled in for the quick ride to our dive site. The little old woman sat silently in the front of the boat studying each diver, nodding her head and flashing a beautiful smile when she made eye contact.

Toward the end of our first dive I looked up and saw the little old woman floating on the surface in mask, fins and snorkel. I waved to her and she waved back turned around and finned slowly toward the boat. As we came aboard there she was sitting in her spot, her thinning hair plastered to her head and that red one piece swimming suit clinging to her wrinkled body. I remember thinking what a beautiful woman she was sitting there in her wet swim suit and plastered hair. How wonderful it must be to embrace life so robustly and actively at her age.

Over the next few days we had the opportunity to get to know the old woman and found out that her name was Sabrina, she was from New York, twice a widow and eighty-seven years old.

Sabrina was on our boat each day for three days and then on the forth she was a no show. We didn’t see her at breakfast so we got worried. We asked around the front desk and they said that she had taken a cab in the early morning. The next morning we met Sabrina for breakfast and asked her where she was the day before. She told us that she had attended a talk by a local naturalist on birds of Bonaire so she decided to go bird watching and spent the day climbing hills around Washington Slagbaai National Park with a group of bird watchers half her age.

On our last day of diving Mary and I found a secluded spot on top of Divi Resort with a few chairs overlooking the ocean so we could watch the sunset. As we were walking up the steps a familiar voice asked, may I join you. We found several chairs next to a young man who had been studying a book and the four of us watched the sun slowly kiss the sea and then disappear in a brilliant orange flash over the distant horizon.

We had a lovely discussion with Sabrina and the young man, a medical student, about life, the ocean, travel and family. I remember when we told Sabrina that we took up to three trips a year she looked surprised and said, what’s the hurry? As I reflected on her question my mind went back over my life with Mary, the sacrifices, hardship and grief we have shared together. We were in a hurry, I came to realize, because we are in love, life is short, opportunities are fleeting and tomorrow may never come so you must live your dream today.

Our time with Sabrina and the young medical student was brief but we shared and learned many things about each other that night. Sabrina shared with us that to receive a blessing you must first give unselfishly and uncompromisingly of yourself. Yes there are sacrifices, hardship and grief but hardship makes us stronger, The wrinkles wrapping Sabrina’s body were not ugly scars of aging they were beautiful medals hard won on the battle field of life. They were emblems of wisdom and knowledge that only age can obtain. She had known hardship through the great depression, wars and death of loved ones but through it all she moved forward and embraced life robustly. I learned a lot from Sabrina that night but we never saw her again and I often wondered what she was doing, where she may be going next, was she still alive.

On June 11th of this year my daughter, son-in-law, Mary and I found ourselves on an unplanned trip to Mobile, Alabama. Our hearts were filled with unbearable grief and my mind was wondering trying to make sense of things. I thought of our conversation with that lovely lady in Bonaire many years ago. Her question, what’s the hurry, kept popping up in my mind.

As we passed through Arkansas on our way to Mobile my daughter turned the radio on and we heard a special announcement that a flash flood at a camp ground had killed at least a dozen sleeping campers and many more were missing and feared dead. In seconds lives were lost, my heart went out to the families. This day many families would be grieving. It brought no comfort to me that other folks had lost love ones so suddenly yet it put our loss in perspective. Today many families and communities would mourn, Mary and I would only be one among many.

The next day we arrived in Mobile and claimed the once vibrant body of our son and two days later I proudly delivered his eulogy in a beautiful little church in the woods of Natchitoches, Louisiana where Mary and I fell in love and were married so many wonderful memories ago.

I have heard it said that grief is the price we pay for love. It is inevitable that we, like Sabrina, will all be scarred by life’s battles yet we need to be in a hurry to embrace life robustly, soak it up, do those things that you always wanted to do and most of all invest yourself in others.

Be in a hurry to tell those close to you that you love them because life truly is fleeting. In a blink we can be separated from those we love and tomorrow may never come.

Be in a hurry to slow down, savor the moment and enjoy making lasting memories with those you love.

Farewell my Son I will always love you. I will cherish our precious memories together forever.

With all my love,

Dad